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Whether it’s a loved one who is nearing death, or you want to decide on a funeral home for yourself in advance, to make it easier for your family later, choosing the right funeral home is of paramount importance. That will decide how well your wishes will be catered to regarding the services. When picking a funeral home, there are a few points that you must check, in order to ensure that your choice suits your preferences. Given below are a few such points –
Know your priorities
Decide on what’s important to you, when it comes to the funeral home. Would you like it closer to your home or to a cemetery? Would you have a fixed budget or would it be flexible? Do you have any special cultural requirements that a particular funeral home only can cater to? How big a facility will you need or will you need a private holding room before service? Answering these will invariably help you pick the right choice.
Make a list & narrow down your choices
Instead of going ahead with the first funeral home you come across, it is better to make a list of viable funeral homes and narrow your choices down to the ones that best suit both your requirements and your budget. Compare prices and the amenities and facilities you are getting, and accordingly, pick the best fit or the one you like the most.
Meet the funeral director
Before finalizing a funeral home, it is important to have a talk with the funeral director. This will help you decide if the director understands your unique requirements and is compatible with your particular preferences. Having a comfort level with the director is very important, in order to ensure a well planned and executed service.
So follow the above tips and pick a funeral home that will do justice to yours or your loved one’s wishes.
Attending a funeral is never an easy thing, because of the sensitive nature of the event. You have to be sure that you’re saying or doing the right things in order to not hurt the sentiments of the grieving family or friends. Given below are some such helpful tips on proper funeral etiquettes that you could follow –
Arrive on time
It is disrespectful to barge in right in the middle of an ongoing service. As an attendee, you must arrive at the designated venue at least 10 minutes before the service begins so that you don’t disrupt it once it has begun. This also allows you enough time to find a place to sit and settle down before the service begins. Make sure you sit in the middle rows or the back, as the front is usually reserved for the family and friends.
Keep a low profile
It is necessary that you do not draw unnecessary attention to yourself. Keep your phone on silent during the service and do not take any calls or text in the middle of it. If you’re taking pictures, make sure you are as inconspicuous as possible and try to capture a few positive moments from the service and keep it to that. Also, if you have a very young child who might cry or fuss at the funeral, it is better to leave them home with a sitter.
Keep your outfit conservative
Funerals are somber events, and keeping to that, your outfit should blend in, rather than standing out. Black is, of course, the safest color you could wear, though any other subdued, dark color works too. Do not wear flashy jewelry or ones that make sounds. And keep the clothes free from any sparkles or vibrant prints.
Greet the grieving family with respect
As an attendee, it is your duty to not only pay your respects to the deceased but also the grieving family. Make sure you talk to them after the service and convey your condolences. A simple show of empathy and support is often enough. Do not hog all their time though, as they’d be expected to talk to rest of the guests as well.
Participate in the rituals
If the funeral you’re attending is that of another culture, then be respectful about their rituals and participate in them when you’re asked to. This may include standing up for prayers, or a group singing etc. You don’t have to be religious to do this. Just consider it as a way of showing respect to the deceased.
Remember, your motto as an attendee at a funeral is to pay respects to the one who’s no more and show support for the ones left grieving.
When you’re going through the grief of losing a loved one, the very task of writing down your thoughts about them for a funeral speech or eulogy is difficult. It might be hard to verbalize all that you may want to say and the thought of delivering in at the funeral doesn’t make it any easier. Given below are some tips that will help you write a good funeral speech –
Make it personal
Steer clear from run of the mill, generalized statements. It is about your loved one with whom you had your own kind of bond. So, write about your personal experiences with the deceased, the special moments you shared, any particular memory that makes you smile till date etc. The goal here is to give your speech a personal touch which will make it authentic.
Write it simply
Make your speech sound like you’re having a conversation with someone. A eulogy is not a place to flaunt your vocabulary flair in. Keep the writing simple, easy flowing and light hearted so that everyone in the audience understands and connects with what you’re saying.
Keep it short
It is important to limit your speech within a short frame of time. This is because, the longer the speech gets, the more you’ll end up rambling about unnecessary things and the audience at the funeral will get restless as well as uncomfortable. Making the speech too long also may delay the service. Keeping it short helps you write it easily, as you can put in a few handpicked stories about the deceased and pay your respects in a short and sweet manner.
Keep away from the negative
If you held any grudge towards the deceased, their funeral is not the time to unleash it. it is important that your speech be on a positive and light-hearted note. There already will be palpable grief in the room – it makes no sense to add on to it by speaking of negative things or conveying words with an air of doom or despair. Talk about positive qualities or funny incidents related to the deceased help those in mourning ease up a bit.
In the end, a good eulogy is always the one that comes from the heart and is delivered from the heart.